My Christmas list this year is simple. I've been a very good girl, unless you count my sarcastic grumblings and hateful glares at holiday tourists...well, and my mean mac n' cheese bender. OK, so I've been a PRETTY good girl, whatever. The point is, if I could just have your ear for a brief minute, I'd like to run down my list of 'wants' for '09. Some of these things can be put under the tree, and others require thinking a little outside the ribbon-covered box. Here goes...
A job!!! (Nothing fancy, doesn't have to be high profile, just - you know - one of those things you go to every day where the people exchange gossip and banter in the pantry and collect that stuff called "money" every week or so. Preferably not in the food service industry, but I can be flexible. Maybe I'd look good in a little wedge hat actually...)
To erase the words 'poopy diaper', 'chafed nipples', 'engorged' and 'baby vomit' from my vocabulary forever. (The extreme elation I felt from the birth of my nephew and joy I feel from watching his cute lil' baby head bop around is slowly but surely being encroached upon by the frequency with which those words have been said in my presence lately. shudders. Seriously, I know my family is close, but we've reached new levels of intimacy in the past week and I'm all in favor of aloof privacy now, thanks).
Peace of mind. (Notice I didn't say 'a man'...yeah. All I really want is to know that all the craziness from the past 12 months has some purpose to it and that I will, in fact, land on my feet. I know this sounds glib, and it's not supposed to - honestly. It's just after almost 29 years of life I'm not exactly where I thought I'd be, so God must have a really quirky and unique plan for me...a REALLY unique plan for me, which involves lots of stalling and battering me around lately, and requires me to have a sense of humor and optimism far beyond my natural reach.)
And finally...starts with "CHA" ends with "-NEL". (Hey, a girl's gotta have something to unwrap, right?)
Thanks Santa, that's about it from me. Now if you could just get crackin' on this, that'd be great. Hell, get the elves to pitch in if you have to, just help a sista out, would you? Oh, and if you could squeeze in there "make Mario Lopez put a shirt on", that'd be swell. The dude is so cheesy he should just get 'velveeta' tattooed on his bicep. Then again, that'd probably just give him another reason to stay uncovered...eh, it was worth a try. Thanks! xoxo,
your favorite holiday blogger
Still waiting for the upswing...